How does a head lice make passage through a canal?

Dreadlocks!

What does a louse need to drive?

A license

What do you call a dirty old louse?

Licentious.

How do you catch head-lice?

With a louse trap.

Why didn't the good Catholic mother treat her children for head lice?

She was Pro-lice.

Why wouldn't the rich aristocratic mother lice let her daughter date Larry Flint?

He was a louse.

On "Who wants to be a Millionaire: Lice Edition" what does the louse use for help?

His Lice Line

What is the most famous battle in the history of head-lice?

The Charge of the Lice Brigade

Where do mountain-climbing head lice go?

The widow's peak.

What is the favorite lice nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Lice

What do you call a head lice to the third power?

Lice cubed!

(credit TF)

Why is the comedian with headlice more successful than all the other comedians?

He's got a million of 'em!

What is a louse's favorite frozen confection?

Lice cream.

Where would you find ghetto head lice?

In da hood!

What did the headlice say when their host went to the barber?

"There goes the neighborhood."

What is the favorite San Francisco treat of a louse?

Lice-a-roni.

What did the mother louse say to her misbehaving little nits?

"Don't make me get the comb!"

What is the favorite hobby of head lice?

Nitting.

Where do head lice plant their crops?

In corn rows!

What did the masochist say to the headlice?

Bite me!